Yeah, short but sweet. I am going to try to NOT use those abbreviations. ¬†I am growing sooooo anxious for the internet to blow up! And ok cell phones too. ūüôā I am a 1850’s country girl at heart. ¬†I need a horse, a root cellar and a few minions.

Technology is fabulous and I appreciate it so much. And as much as I am sneaking onto Facebook here and there just to feel a bit social…as I am still adjusting to being a stay at home mom in a cracker jack box, I mean house. But good LORD people, there is just so much crap and junk and stupidity. I long for a real attention span and a good long read online, a real feel. Everyone is socially marketing themselves and taking from the same pool of data and techniques that its all feeling very phony and staged. I am tired of reading about wellness and get the same message from every half interesting person. They are great, smart, well-intention-ed folk, but they might as well be the same person or share one website.

I dont need to pay for menu plans, I dont need to pay for supplements, I dont need your book, or your DVD’s. I just seek knowledge. But it seems it comes with a price tag and a social media “like/follow/subscribe” time drain.

No, I am not crabby. No, I really do enjoy learning. Yes, I need a good library. I need soulful inspiration, not tweets.

Sometimes I want to unsubscribe from everything and just find a real paper education on wellness, nutrition, soulful guidance, and a little real world.

Turn off the TV. Turn off the cell. Unplug the computer. Then go find myself a book I paid for and actually read it.

Could someone please come over and kick my butt? I am typing on a blog about how I need/want less internet. WTF. But I love you all so much and I truly need to hang out with coffee, or vodka and some wholesome vegan yummies, with my amazing friends who speak truth love hope and be me for real for a while.  I need to find some of you in the flesh, for reals.


I gained weight. Shoot me.

I dont have a lot of typing to do on this one. But I want to come here and say, I lost it when I weighed myself. I gained weight. Eating vegan, juicing and having the occasional smoothie. It tapered into a whirlwind of small failures, not juicing everyday or not making good choices by eating my salsa with organic Trader Joe’s fritos. They were soo good. It all went to Hades when I decided to eat some chicken. Not sure if it was the chicken or the guilt….but I am completely off the so-called wagon.

Plus dammit if I didnt gain weight and its really killing me! I have tons of excuses, but I am still bummed.  I will say that I need to eat Рto encourage alkalinity, and anti-inflammatory-ish. Because my carpal tunnel and chub a lub is painful.

I am the fattest I have ever been. WHAT THE HELL. I am officially 75 lbs overweight. Offically obese. God kill me now. I want to cry, and get drunk, and eat Oreos with real milk. LOL.

If my excuse is lack of energy it is, but its also lack of sheer will. (Looks at me typing this whiny post! When I could be moving my big fat ass) But I cant drink the good beverages, because….I am a mom, I cant sleep through the night yet, I still get up all night off and on. Not sure about you, but drinking makes me crabby as hell in the middle of the night, when forced awake for any reason. Not a good momma example, ya know? ¬† But but but but but but …. I think I am going to try pills. They arent on the detox plan, or the healthy heart plan, Buddha wouldnt approve, but they are on the high energy, no need for coffee plan. I need energy, lots of it. If I have to get it in a pill…I will. I honestly think my thyroid is cashed. Maybe a pill will jumpstart my metabolism and in the spring I can get outside and jump around! (I could eat 500 calories a day and still gain weight. Yet, I am not a closet eater, a snacker, binger or over eater. So it’s got to be my body is off kilter.) ¬†No matter what ails me though, thyroid or mental state, I don’t have insurance. So I am just f-ing fat and gotta deal with it on my own, just as I should.

So who’s coming over to let loose a wild animal to chase me around the block?

Been thinking

I am failing miserably on this 30 day vegan/juice/smoothie thing.  For various reasons. I can barely get enough time to type a simple post on here, life is not full of empty space or freedoms to blog, juice or smoothie regularly.

If I want to juice I am going to need to use my loud juicer, which isnt fun with a little baby at my hip 24/7. I had to return my new quieter supposedly better juicer that my hubs got me for Christmas. It was AWFUL. ¬†What a mess that thing made! ¬†Oh, and Amazon returns are amazingly simple, considering it’s all internet based. It is simpler than going to the store. No waiting in lines, no dealing with the happy people who are handling your return. ¬†No ID needed, and they sent me the $ back before they even picked up the item via UPS. ¬†Oh, how I love the Amazon store. BUT – sadly, Amazon now charges tax in my state which is no small amount, 10%. Ticks me off quite truthfully. ¬†I loved getting away with no tax up front. Oh well, such as the way of the world I suppose.

Now to tell you something odd, I kind of want to create healthy meal plans and create a site for them. I can create them, use them, sample the food, experiment with recipes via the interwebs, while creating a site for that purpose. I do not want to make it all for a small fee either. I am sure if I could manage that some day, I certainly will. But for my sake it would be primarily for me, but sharing with anyone who comes across the page. Then if I get a bit of time to make it beautifully laid out with really nice printables, perhaps I can make a side income with it.

Thinking. Thinking.

I cant seem to blog anymore like I did on Xanga. I think now that I have my friends from Xanga, I feel like spilling my heart is too private. Right now I know that there are only a few of you seeing this. ¬†It just doesn’t seem comfy and safe anymore if anyone can come across the page. Surely you may have noticed I can blab my heart out and want to, need to. But maybe I need a more private setting. Anyone know of a place where you can make certain posts visible to only a select few occasionally on a blog? I need a place where no filter is needed. Otherwise dear friends you may get long winded emails…. o.O

It’s a good quote day. Here is one that

It’s a good quote day. Here is one that resonates… “I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime.” Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

I have a few minutes, not.

It’s like winning the lottery, having a few minutes. ¬†I took a couple minutes and read a blog or two. ¬†I miss the slow feel of Xanga. I read to my hearts content and fell in love ¬†with the honesty in the souls of those I “followed”.

Personally for me, I ramble with no true focus or purpose. It’s a heart felt bullshit ramble of sorts. Somedays I am all full of love and cheer, others its just like a twitter feed….nothing substantial. But I need it. My heart aches to write and have down time to think about myself. Is that odd? I really need that time to let the misspelled words flow freely. It gives me a sense of who I am and where I am headed in this short crazy beautiful hellish life.

I wish I could run. It’s probably a fantastic way to let the thoughts roll in and out with the breath. But I’d be panting and rolling on the ground in a heart attack or something quite awful. I guess in the winter meantime, ¬†I will write and maybe walk, but its too cold to walk.

Even in rainy 55 degrees it feels dreadful to me.

If I could concentrate on a blog with purpose, I am pretty sure I’d find a way to make money doing it! Til then, we are stuck here with my blathering about nonsense and thoughts, dreams, wishes and whatever else comes to mind.

The baby is stirring, I hear her moving. ¬†She must hear my typing. When babies sleep…the keyboard seems 10x louder. To me and them. Do they make super quite keyboards that moms can afford? Hm…

See, I can’t get a thought in. I mean…this was just supposed to be ¬†lead in to a long post about something neat and interesting. But – today, this is all I got. There is a baby who needs me.


Namaste Ya’ll.


Nurture in 2014

That is my buzz “word” for 2014. It seems everywhere i read lately we are all searching for a word. I thought it was “ease” for me, but that is Tara Stiles word and I don’t feel like stealing her word, it felt used. I prefer my own original word not shared by a personality I am fond of on the inter-webs.

I was thinking Nourish, but it has such an attachment to food I thought I would end up obsessing over food issues all year. ¬†It sounds like a brand nowadays. So as much as I like food and like the word Nourish….it’s too ordinary and food related. believe it or not there is more to life that food, and to simply nourish my body leaves me thinking I cant enjoy food in the crazy unhealthy way I like to once in a while since I am such a freaking rebel. I could say Nourish means body and soul…but we all think of food as soon as we say it in our heads.

But this…rolls around in my head like a soft squishy happy gummy bear:

Nurture. I should nurture *me* a lot more and I most certainly enjoy nurturing my children and family.

Verb: care for and encourage the growth or development of.


2. to support and encourage, as during the period of training or development; foster: to nurture promising musicians.
3. to bring up; train; educate.

Noun:  the process of caring for and encouraging the growth or development of someone or something.

4. rearing, upbringing, training, education, or the like.
5. development: the nurture of young artists.
6. something that nourishes; nourishment; food.


Yes. yes. Absolutely. I own it. It’s my word. This year I will nurture myself and focus on ways to improve how I nurture those around me. ¬†It feels right. It feels good to discover my “word”.

I already love 2014 so much! This makes it even more interesting and fun. What is your “word”?


Peace out homies.

Jenny Jump Up

Not sure who is reading along, but I have so much to type. Be patient, I am not writing for a good grade, for using excellent grammar or even care if I spell things correctly half the time.  I type faster than I think, so I type words half backwards and rarely go back and re-read until AFTER I have posted. So my apologies to the English majors.

Our puppy Scooter, well, he has a pp problem. ¬†His peeper hole is the size of a pin. So he drips. Everywhere, for-ever. It’s incredibly sad! ¬†His little peeper fills up and looks like an explosive little hot dog, because the pp doesn’t come out. It “backfills”. So gross. ¬†He saw a vet when he got his rabies at the local PetCo. ¬†(Where they had a few hamsters eating a dead hamster, gross!! Poor hamsters) She said she has heard of it but never seen it. ¬†She think he needs a good pet hospital that has done this before. ¬†In otherwords she is unsure if anyone local can handle this in their hospital. Great. ¬†Me the poor mom of 4 with a hubby waiting on a raise and promotion…gets a puppy who needs some kind of pp surgery. ¬†OMG. Great. Poor pups. I called one vet, they had never heard of it before and they are the big local vet hospital that takes walk-ins. ¬†I have to assume who ever answered the phone might not know. Plan and simple. So I may try calling today and see if I can talk to an actual vet. I need estimates and not pricey visits to simply look at his peeper. If they haven’t done it…they probably are not where he will get this problem fixed anyway.

My kids are finally back in school. They were supposed to go back last Monday, but ended up returning Friday.  It snowed.  Around here, snow means no school. But everyone has to go to work. I am lucky enough to be here anyway. But I feel bad for parents who have to work and had the kids home for almost 3 weeks straight.

My month of juices and smoothies and being vegan is going along – okay. It’s certainly not perfect but it’s chugging along. I have episodes of weakness but overall it’s pretty nice. I would live this way full time if it weren’t so difficult with a large family, small kitchen and a very limited income. But hey, I am doing it for now and I may continue beyond January and see how long I can go eating primarily plants. Probably for-ever with lots of room for exceptions.

Next month my focus is going to be on fitness and soul.  Soul work, and body movement.  Seems blissful.

I could work on it now, but Christ Almighty….not really. I can barely make juice and or a smoothie everyday inbetween my homemade cooking in a tiny kitchen, with 2 dishwasher loads per day, school kids, a baby, a puppy who needs to be followed around with a mop and my 3 yr old who is desperate for mommy time. And a hubby who thinks corn, potatoes and the occasional peas in his ramen soup is good enough. ¬†(I wish it was for me too, but it’s not)

I am currently roasting bell peppers. ¬†Smells amazing. Not sure what to do with them. But sometimes I eat them and never get a chance to make a recipe with them….but hey, its okay. It got eaten, not tossed because they went bad.

I subscribed to Gaiam TV. Not sure if I like it. May keep it through February just to get the fitness started. They have lots of fitness videos. I like Rodney Yee who they have on there. ¬†But honestly there is awesome FREE videos on YouTube and I LOVE LOVE LOVE YouTube. ¬†Except that you have to use Google now. Why restrict us? I have issues with that. But then again, I just have lots of issues. ūüôā

Have you been to I may not be able to meditate like I want to (morning and night for 10-20 minutes) but this website is awesome and helps a lot with squeezing in a little calm when I can. If I sit there…it is meditating, although it feels like cheating. Try them sometime. A Facebook friend mentioned it to me, and that is one of the reasons why I cant give up Facebook.

Which reminds me that I cheated. I told myself that I would stay off Facebook for January. Well I have peeked. I needed to get a recipe I sent the hubby. I didn’t communicate with anyone but I opened up my feed to peek. I have peeked in for about 10-20 seconds maybe 2-3 times because Facebook is in so many things I have to use my FB account to go here or go there….it’s actually annoying.

Hubby and I hung up the Jenny Jump up in the doorway for little Miss Charlie. She seemed to like it. Babies grow up way too fast. ¬†I love her sooo freaking much that the hubs has been sleeping on the sofa so I can be with the baby all the time. I don’t breast feed, but I really love being close to her and seeing her face as soon as I wake up…..she is a little baby for such a short period of time, I just really am not ready to break up with her and put her in her crib. That is kind of how it feels, a break up. Sad but true.

My three year old, is getting super chubby. She is a bored whiner eater. ¬†OMG I can’t help but feed her, she eats almost anything but prefers – carbs and cheese. Yeah, she needs a sport to get involved in. ¬†Poor chunka lunk. ¬†Not sure what to do about it now, here, because it’s cold, not always freezing (but I belong in a freaking desert) …so I am not going out of doors, otherwise we’d all be walking. The puppy, the baby in the stroller, the three year old and me….but alas, I detest the cold and think my baby will freeze out there.

Working on this and that. Made my again. ¬†Here is today’s if you want to check it out. Its posts and updates from sites of peoples I am interested in. ¬†Mostly fitness, food, vegan, soul work. They be cool peeps. ¬†¬†It’s everything I am interested in reading. Anywho….hope you all have a wonderful day.